oh god the rape fog is back!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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