He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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