ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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