I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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