Can Purell be used as lube?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
