i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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