3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
