Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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