New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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