You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
barbara walters just said penis...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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