Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We have started to decorate penises.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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