I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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