He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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