Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize