Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
