My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
