I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
