well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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