wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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