I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
