Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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