And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
