I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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