Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this will be a night to untag.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
