We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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