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thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
