Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
