JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
