Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
