Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
