She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
