So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
