you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
