were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
