You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
