Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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