Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
