I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
