hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
