So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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