Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
