If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize