I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
