I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
