Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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