Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
a search helicopter?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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