I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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