Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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