These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
