I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm bleeding and have questions
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize