New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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