I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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