you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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