Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
