Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
