Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize