the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
