I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
