I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
