I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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