So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
