Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Pants are for mortals
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
