my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
