IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
